For those who don't know who Rori Raye is, she's a trained relationship coach that has been proven to help thousands of women to find "Mr. Right" or turn bad relationships into good ones. She has had the training to do this and has learned from her own experiences. She's been married to the same dude for years, but before that she was thrown around, left heartbroken, and shattered emotionally. It was so bad that it almost caused her and her husband of over 20 years to get a divorce, but since she loved him so much, she had to put her foot down and make a difference. That's a passionate woman right there. Not giving up on someone you care about because times or situations got tough... shows true strength, a drive, and a true love. I find people give up way too easily nowadays, and people just get weaker and weaker with relationships. They're meant to be special. Many people go through tough relationships or personal issues, and I think it's great she is trying to help women believe they can find this "right" person or fix relationship problems.
I love optimism! Boom! Haha.
So in this article I linked above, she talks about three things women shouldn't do if they want to find "Mr. Right." She may be wrong, but I'd have to agree with the majority of what she is saying. "Oh, he may "enjoy being with you", but he just never gets TOUCHED by you in a deep, connected, emotional sense." If you are trying to get into a guys mind, you just need to be yourself and let him see that. I agree with her on that. Be one with yourself, and you can be yourself for someone else. If you cannot be yourself, then this guy isn't right for you. If a guy sees you are yourself, he see's a confidence in you, a warmth, realism... this does not scare them away. It just shows them you aren't scared to be you and that's hot. Hopefully he's the same way back for your sake and digs the way you truly are.
For her "wrong way #2," I do feel women get carried away with sex emotionally and get way too attached afterwards (I see this happen a lot with friends). Many women think men are the exact same, meaning they are going to get just as emotionally induced. Let's just think about that for a minute............. Come on women, most the time you will just find yourselves washed away and feeling shitty because he probably just used you &/or didn't even give a shit. You need to know the guys prerogative before you jump into this shit. I am not saying all men are like this, but you should just watch your type. If you keep going after the same type of dude and it never works out, maybe you should make a change yourself. An example of stupidity: if you go out to a bar, get hammered, meet a guy, have sex, and the next day he leaves and you didn't exchange numbers. This was a one night stand, and if you thought before going into that, you might get a relationship out of this guy, you're an idiot. Men, if you think women can just be "fuck buddies," you're an idiot. I would guess that 97% of women, especially depending on age and lack of experience, will get attached. They may say they don't care, but that's a lie. It's not that men don't care the exact same way, they just may be looking for something different at the time. Just know what you are getting yourself into before you do that sexual dance with someone.
As for Raye's # 3, "the Spiritual Road," this can be a toughy. When you are dating someone and have intentions to get serious, you obviously want to talk about a lot of things and make sure you are on the right page. Having the same beliefs or having lots in common is a good thing, but it also leaves some spice if you don't. In my opinion having everything in common, can just bring another friendship. You can get bored after a while. You want someone who can boggle your mind and keep you on your feet, even drive you nuts. You just gotta watch how far you take those conversations before you turn what you really want into just a "friendship" relationship... only leaves you hurting in the end if you don't. I also hate when women agree with men just because they want their men to like them more. I say it's okay to do this a little because it is showing you are trying, but at the same time, just be yourself! Say you are dating someone who loves golf, and you really hate it, that will only suck for you in the long end if you tell him you actually love it... Just be honest. You don't have to enjoy all of the same things. Add variety.
In my past experience with relationships, some good, some awful, I would say the ones that worked better, I was more myself. I wouldn't say I was a 100% myself, but I can also say I wasn't looking for "Mr. Right" at the time. With being your complete utter self, it's a risk you should be willing to take if you think he is "it" or may have the potential. If you try and be a 100% yourself with a guy, and he doesn't dig it, then obviously he is not that guy for you. Maybe he didn't show his true self, which just shows that he isn't ready for "Mrs. Right." If a guy has trouble expressing things to you or is beyond bitter, then he isn't ready. I wouldn't take this part personal if this happens. It's different for everyone. Let the guy get emotional and deep with you, but make sure you keep it on the right side... you don't want it to turn friendly.
I like when Raye points this out, "The trick is to learn exactly HOW to express your feelings - in words that will draw a man closer in an amazing way. The usual way we express our feelings comes out sounding either stifled, inauthentic or critical to a man, and does nothing to connect with his heart." The two key words in this to me are LEARN and HOW! You have to be taught or observe something in order to do it correctly. In the beginning of a new bond, this may take time. This should be on both sides of the party... if you do not like the way someone is talking to you or if they sound "critical" or annoyed, TALK about this. Instead of closing the door, discuss how you would rather be told stuff or preferences. Don't bark at someone if they did something wrong once and say forget it... that isn't fair...work it out. Express how it made you feel and explain how you would rather have it. It's called communication, patients, and LEARNING. You are teaching each other about each other! Once you learn, it goes a lot easier and then you know not to do certain things and how to express correctly. We obviously cannot read each others minds, so discussing things is key. No one is perfect nor knows every exact thing that has happened in your past. Doing these things will get you guys heading on a positive road, and there should be a lot more emotional attachment on both ends. If you had a past relationship where your girlfriend did certain things to annoy you, and your current girlfriend does the same thing, tell her and talk about it. Let her get the benefit of the doubt. Don't just push her away. Or ladies, if you think your guy doesn't take enough time to spend with you and that annoys you... don't get critical... talk about it. Learn how to express your feelings! It takes time to build a relationship and in that time, we learn how to communicate to each other in the way we need it, and the best way to do that is to always be open,, discuss, and be yourself. Amen Rori Raye. Lets bring out the optimism in people.
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