what's that song by billy joel???

Oh ya... Moving out! 
Last night was my going away party.  It was pretty dang epic!  I didn't drink as much as I thought I would, which is great, haha.  Flip cup, beer pong, loud music, dancing, good friends... was a blast!  Today it hit me that I won't see half of the people who came for months... sad!  My best friend came and surprised me, which was great!  She moved a lot of my stuff this morning on her way back home.  Tomorrow my parents are coming, and my friend is bringing the truck!  Once that truck gets here, I don't know what type of emotions I will have.  I've lived in Milwaukee for five years!  Ugh!  I am so excited though to start my new job, be with my family, BADGER GAMES, friends, and other awesomeness.  Bittersweet.

I apologize for not keeping up with my blog.  It has been a busy last week for me, and I have been sleeping over at someones house... you know... being naughty ;-)  Once I move though, I will be posting more frequently again.  <3 

dang it all, Kings of Leon!

If you haven't heard yet and are a Kings of Leon fan, they have canceled the rest of their U.S. tour.  I was hoping to go to see them in Tinley Park near Chicago this month.  I am very very sad about this.  Kings of Leon is one of my favorite bands, and they're a band that always makes me happy.  They have such an amazing background with their family.  The Tennessee natives traveled in a beat up Oldsmobile across country with their parents most their childhood... Caleb, Nathan, and Jared are all brothers, and their father was a traveling priest. I don't know about you guys but traveling in a car with three boys and your parents in a small ass Oldsmobile would suck!  They were home schooled the majority of the time or went to churchy schools.  They were denied a "normal" childhood given this route, but in 1997 their parents divorced and then settled in Nashville.  All the boys actually go by their middle names, which I think is interesting.  Their fathers name is Leon along with their grandfather, which is why they named the band Kings of Leon.  I think that's pretty dang cool.  Caleb taught himself guitar.  Caleb and Nathan bought Jared a bass to teach him while he was still in high school, and Nathan dabbled drums.  They all took a huge interest in music realizing they wanted more, so they then pulled their cousin Matthew into the picture who played guitar.  They decided to lock themselves in their basement of their home, create music, and jam. They also apparently "kidnapped" their cousin Matthew.  They told their mom that Matthew would only be staying for a week visiting from Mississippi, but they never let him return.  They bought an ounce of pot, locked themselves in that basement and became a sensation.  When they came out they had a label and hit songs! 

The band has canceled their tour in the U.S. due to exhaustion and vocal issues with Caleb... I have also heard there are deeper issues with all of them getting along.  Either way, I hope it all revolves so that someday I can finally see them live!  It would be a dream come true for me, and hope the band gets on a healthy note!  Best of luck to them!

Here's one of my favorite songs off their newer album Come Around Sundown.  

 
For more information about this:
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/kings-of-leon-cancel-u-s-tour-20110801

Finally moving!

So today I told my work when my last day will be.  I cannot believe it.  I'm MOVING!  I'm so excited and bummed out at the same time.  Excited for new things... my new job, my friends and family, school, saving money, the things I know in Madison.  I'm bummed to leave my friends I have made in Milwaukee over the past few years.  They have become like family to me.  I have come to love this city when I once didn't care for it.  So many fun things to do.  I will miss the beach and my work family... not so much my work though, haha.  I know this won't be too far from me though, and I can always come visit.  Plus I am leaving 2 of my "stinky pot" couches at my current house with my roommates, so I always have a place to sleep :) 

Off to watch some beach volleyball :)  Loving life. 

Holy Beckham

Blog world!  My internet was down the last few days, so I wasn't able to partake in the blog world.  Glad to be back.  Happy Sunday! 

Sexy can I?!  Victoria Beckham is such a lucky lady!  David Beckham is sporting a new tattoo for new daughter, Harper... I can barely see it, but that is okay, I will search his body and look, hahaha.

Mike Myers signed to do a FOURTH Austin Powers movie this past week according to HitFix.com.  I hope this happens.  Austin Powers is always a load of fun. 

LA Times reports, "A Rembrandt work valued at more than $250,000 was stolen Saturday evening from a private art exhibit at the Ritz Carlton Marina del Rey when a curator was distracted by an apparent diversion, Los Angeles County Sheriff's officials said."  OMG!  This had to be a thought out process.  This building is highly secured, and it is a building I have always wanted to stay at.  It's a very beautiful, extravagant hotel from what I am told or scene.  Rembrandt was one hell of a painter, there is no doubt about that... known to be one of the best painters ever and printmakers, especially in European art history and Dutch history.  Whoever stole this painting, I hope they have it above their mantel in their livingroom, and they're sitting in some nice ass chair sipping on some expensive red wine and grinning over their thrill.  Cheers to you!    

I have a new addiction

COD is already addicting as it is... add zombies, and I cannot stop.  Thank you to the guys who moved upstairs.  I wasted half my day and will further waste more of my days playing this game.

Wish You Were Here

Good morning world :)  A great tune to start your day off...
Also wanted to say thank you for those who have been checking out my blog... my hits are going up significantly lately :)  I dig it!
My advice for today since it's Monday is to go out of your way to make somebody smile.  Be you.  It will make a great start to your week.  I'm pretty good at this, haha.
Good news for me:  I should be getting my car back today from the auto repair shop.  They tried to rip me off big time, and I proved them wrong.  That's a check in the box for me being awesome.  Just because I am a woman, doesn't mean I don't know shit about cars.  I grew up with three boys.  I learned how to change my oil when I was 16 years old, and my tires for that fact.  Haha.
Another piece of advice... If you have nothing to hide, don't get defensive.  If you get defensive, you are obviously hiding something.  Defensiveness means you feel guilty or are insecure about something or other.  You should want to prove your honesty to whoever if you are in fact being honest.  If you get annoyed when someone asks you an honest question or asks you an honest favor... you obviously have a problem going on there.

XOXO, Don't forget to Shut the Front Door        

Coming This September 15th

A show that always has me laughing...

And I cannot stop watching these, haha.

OMG MAC!  HAHA!

It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia!  I want a poster with the end shot in my room and maybe a shirt with Danny DeVito's face on it, haha.

Be yourself.

Found this article randomly online about women finding "Mr.Right" and thought it was interesting.  Check it out... 

http://wonderwallmagazine.com/?p=292

For those who don't know who Rori Raye is, she's a trained relationship coach that has been proven to help thousands of women to find "Mr. Right" or turn bad relationships into good ones.  She has had the training to do this and has learned from her own experiences.  She's been married to the same dude for years, but before that she was thrown around, left heartbroken, and shattered emotionally.  It was so bad that it almost caused her and her husband of over 20 years to get a divorce, but since she loved him so much, she had to put her foot down and make a difference.  That's a passionate woman right there.  Not giving up on someone you care about because times or situations got tough... shows true strength, a drive, and a true love.  I find people give up way too easily nowadays, and people just get weaker and weaker with relationships.  They're meant to be special.  Many people go through tough relationships or personal issues, and I think it's great she is trying to help women believe they can find this "right" person or fix relationship problems.  

I love optimism!  Boom!  Haha.     

So in this article I linked above, she talks about three things women shouldn't do if they want to find "Mr. Right."  She may be wrong, but I'd have to agree with the majority of what she is saying. "Oh, he may "enjoy being with you", but he just never gets TOUCHED by you in a deep, connected, emotional sense."  If you are trying to get into a guys mind, you just need to be yourself and let him see that.  I agree with her on that.  Be one with yourself, and you can be yourself for someone else.  If you cannot be yourself, then this guy isn't right for you.  If a guy sees you are yourself, he see's a confidence in you, a warmth, realism... this does not scare them away.  It just shows them you aren't scared to be you and that's hot.  Hopefully he's the same way back for your sake and digs the way you truly are.        

For her "wrong way #2," I do feel women get carried away with sex emotionally and get way too attached afterwards (I see this happen a lot with friends).  Many women think men are the exact same, meaning they are going to get just as emotionally induced. Let's just think about that for a minute............. Come on women, most the time you will  just find yourselves washed away and feeling shitty because he probably just used you &/or didn't even give a shit.  You need to know the guys prerogative before you jump into this shit.  I am not saying all men are like this, but you should just watch your type.  If you keep going after the same type of dude and it never works out, maybe you should make a change yourself. An example of stupidity: if you go out to a bar, get hammered, meet a guy, have sex, and the next day he leaves and you didn't exchange numbers.  This was a one night stand, and if you thought before going into that, you might get a relationship out of this guy, you're an idiot.  Men, if you think women can just be "fuck buddies," you're an idiot.  I would guess that 97% of women, especially depending on age and lack of experience, will get attached.  They may say they don't care, but that's a lie.  It's not that men don't care the exact same way, they just may be looking for something different at the time.  Just know what you are getting yourself into before you do that sexual dance with someone.      

As for Raye's # 3, "the Spiritual Road," this can be a toughy.  When you are dating someone and have intentions to get serious, you obviously want to talk about a lot of things and make sure you are on the right page.  Having the same beliefs or having lots in common is a good thing, but it also leaves some spice if you don't.  In my opinion having everything in common, can just bring another friendship.  You can get bored after a while. You want someone who can boggle your mind and keep you on your feet, even drive you nuts.  You just gotta watch how far you take those conversations before you turn what you really want into just a "friendship" relationship... only leaves you hurting in the end if you don't.  I also hate when women agree with men just because they want their men to like them more.  I say it's okay to do this a little because it is showing you are trying, but at the same time, just be yourself!  Say you are dating someone who loves golf, and you really hate it, that will only suck for you in the long end if you tell him you actually love it... Just be honest.  You don't have to enjoy all of the same things.  Add variety.         

In my past experience with relationships, some good, some awful, I would say the ones that worked better, I was more myself.  I wouldn't say I was a 100% myself, but I can also say I wasn't looking for "Mr. Right" at the time.  With being your complete utter self, it's a risk you should be willing to take if you think he is "it" or may have the potential.  If you try and be a 100% yourself with a guy, and he doesn't dig it, then obviously he is not that guy for you.  Maybe he didn't show his true self, which just shows that he isn't ready for "Mrs. Right."  If a guy has trouble expressing things to you or is beyond bitter, then he isn't ready.  I wouldn't take this part personal if this happens.  It's different for everyone.  Let the guy get emotional and deep with you, but make sure you keep it on the right side... you don't want it to turn friendly.   

I like when Raye points this out, "The trick is to learn exactly HOW to express your feelings - in words that will draw a man closer in an amazing way. The usual way we express our feelings comes out sounding either stifled, inauthentic or critical to a man, and does nothing to connect with his heart."  The two key words in this to me are LEARN and HOW!  You have to be taught or observe something in order to do it correctly.  In the beginning of a new bond, this may take time.  This should be on both sides of the party... if you do not like the way someone is talking to you or if they sound "critical" or annoyed, TALK about this.  Instead of closing the door, discuss how you would rather be told stuff or preferences.  Don't bark at someone if they did something wrong once and say forget it... that isn't fair...work it out.  Express how it made you feel and explain how you would rather have it.  It's called communication, patients, and LEARNING.  You are teaching each other about each other!  Once you learn, it goes a lot easier and then you know not to do certain things and how to express correctly.  We obviously cannot read each others minds, so discussing things is key.  No one is perfect nor knows every exact thing that has happened in your past.  Doing these things will get you guys heading on a positive road, and there should be a lot more emotional attachment on both ends.  If you had a past relationship where your girlfriend did certain things to annoy you, and your current girlfriend does the same thing, tell her and talk about it.  Let her get the benefit of the doubt.  Don't just push her away.  Or ladies, if you think your guy doesn't take enough time to spend with you and that annoys you... don't get critical... talk about it.  Learn how to express your feelings!  It takes time to build a relationship and in that time, we learn how to communicate to each other in the way we need it, and the best way to do that is to always be open,, discuss, and be yourself.  Amen Rori Raye.  Lets bring out the optimism in people.          

Fun Stuff!

If you cannot tell yet, I am quite a comic book fan.  I love when comics are made into movies.  I love when they remake old comic movies into better ones... doesn't always happen, but every once in a while it surprises you. 

Another costume teaser was released the other day, but this time it's for Clark Kent, SUPERMAN, in "Man of Steel."  Henry Cavil is playing Superman.  He is from the hit show, "The Tudors" off Showtime.  He's hot.  I like that he isn't a huge star yet.   

Amy Adams is playing Lois Lane, which I think is pretty spectacular.  I love Amy Adams!  She's never disappointed me.  Diane Lane and Kevin Costner are Superman's adoptive parents in the movie.  It's been a while since I have seen Kevin Costner, so that's exciting news.  Russell Crowe plays Superman's real father, Jor-El.  Russell Crowe is one of my favorite actors, so when I read that I got excited!  On top of all the great cast, Zack Synder is directing the movie and wants to add a lot of history to the movie.  Maybe it will be similar to "Batmen Begins," where that movie builds the story of Batman.  The script of "Man of Steel" is written by David S. Goyer, and the story was done by the wonderful Christopher Nolan!  The release date of this movie is June 14, 2013!!!  That's sooo far away!   

I also wanted to send a happy birthday to Lucille Ball!  She would be 100 years old if she were still alive today!  "I Love Lucy" is my favorite television show of allllll time.  I use to watch it as a child with my dad.  He would let me stay up past my bedtime to watch it sometimes... daddy daughter bonding time, haha.  I always thought Lucy was like my mom.  My mother is a nut, but a great one.   

Sneak peaks of "Dark Knight Rises"

If you haven't seen or heard it yet, the new CATWOMAN costume was released! 

Now it is no Halle Berry costume, thank God (not realistic for kicking ass), and it doesn't even come close to the original Michelle Pfeiffer costume.  I admit, Pfeiffer's is way hotter, but Anne Hathaway's costume looks action ready!  She looks like she is ready to kick some ass and dominate.  There is no black hair, no head cover, no cat ears, no tail (yet anyways or that we see), and the material is not as sleazy.  The goggles I will accept because the comic now and in "Batman: Artham Asylum" Catwoman uses goggles here and there.    

 

I do feel Anne Hathaway wears this costume well!  AND, this bike looks awfully familiar... pretty similar to a guy named Batman!  Maybe she stole it... maybe she finds a replica... I cannot wait to see what lies behind this.

While I am spreading Catwoman's costume, I thought I would share a couple other shots as well.  If you have not seen the unbelievable teaser of a trailer for "Dark Knight Rises" I'd recommend it.  It's the biggest teaser I have ever seen for a movie and half the parts are from "Batman Begins," but it does show you a glimpse of the villain, BANE, and he's scary as hell looking!

Bane is played by Tom Hardy, one of the sexiest men alive in my opinion, and when I saw this Bane costume on him, I thought the exact opposite, haha.  I got scared!  If this even came near me even Tom Hardy, I would be running.     

He may be standing on his ride, which looks extremely similar to Batman's rig again, but he looks HUGE!!!
July 20, 2012 cannot come soon enough! 

They're Back!

http://www.rollingstone.com/movies/news/exclusive-mike-judge-on-the-return-of-beavis-and-butt-head-20110803

Holy Wah!!!  Shut The Front Door!  The day has arrived!  I cannot wait to watch this and watch these two characters make fun of Teen Mom or Jersey Shore or even a damn Chris Brown video!  Yes!

So dumb, it's great!  Haha. 
     
Now, I wish Daria would make a come back with it!!! One of my fav shows back in the day! La,la,la,la, laaaa.

cosmic love

Song of the day.  This is by far one of my favorite songs.  I love love love Florence + the Machine.  Seeing them live was breathtaking.  Florence does an amazing job and can really sing.  Plus they have a damn harp player in their band!  So awesome! 
Anyway, these lyrics touch me on a whole other level.  So deep.  So beautiful.  So good, you better read them: 

A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes
I screamed aloud, as it tore through them, and now it's left me blind

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat
I tried to find the sound
But then, it stopped, and I was in the darkness,
So darkness I became

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

I took the stars from my eyes, and then I made a map
And knew that somehow I could find my way back
Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too
So I stayed in the darkness with you

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart 

There can be many interpretations of the lyrics for people, but for me this is a song about a woman who falls in love with someone who only lets her have a selection of his heart. She's left in the darkness, the shadows of his heart. She doesn't have all of him.  It sounds as if he doesn't have it to give or he doesn't know how to give it. Then she goes another route to find herself again and to move on.  In the end she realizes he's in the "darkness" as well so she decides to stay with him even if she only gets a selection or piece of him... that's all she needs, as long as she is with him.  Romantic and beautiful, haha. 

what would you do for the person you care about?

Today is a day that music will save me.  Make me weak, tears come down, rob my emotions, and the only thing that saves me is writing and music.  I'm not giving up on what I believe.  I will never give up on the things I am passionate about or things I care about, but sometimes people get put in situations.  Situations where they are defenseless or didn't mean it or said apology after apology and meant it.  Situations where you have to push pause on that fact that you care so much because you don't know what will happen or the other person needs time or something along those lines.  Some people are harder to read more than others, and the ones you can't figure out... those are the special ones.  Those are the ones you shouldn't let go.  These are the people that will teach you something about life or show you a new feeling, a new experience... hopefully it's a good one.  Let them drive you nuts in a good way.  They will always keep you on your feet and boggle your mind.

I had a boyfriend that cheated on me once... dick move, I know.  The worst part about it was that he had a child, and I got attached to that child.  Dumb move on my part.  He literally tore me apart with lie after lie to a point I could no longer trust anyone.  The best part about it was that I found out on FACEBOOK!  A friend wrote it on a friends wall purposely so I could apparently see it.  But overall, this made it hard for me to trust anyone, even my family and friends.  When you tell someone you like them or love them, that's a type of responsibility.  If you say it back, it goes on both ends.  It's both peoples job (more like an honor, I feel) to make sure they don't ruin that, build it, cherish it, love it, show one another the thought and care for each other.  You build a bond... a special trust, a special relationship!  One that makes you melt on the inside, gets ya giggling, or excited every time you see that person, haha.  Now when one of those people isn't up for that responsibility, why play with the other ones emotions?  Something I never understood with a cheater.

Anyway, it took me a solid two years to be able to like someone completely again.  I still dated, but I never wanted anything serious for the fact.  I needed time to let that heal.  I needed to find that person that I can completely trust, 100%.  I moved on from my ex no problem, but that feeling is beyond hell.  So I feel when you find someone again, they should know about this... know the jam you went through because it's part of you.  You can find someone new and trust them, but you had these people in your past that just ruined so much... shattered your self-esteem, shattered your confidence.  It makes people bitter about future possibilities... it did with me for TWO YEARS!  Haha.  One thing to note though is to never compare your new people with your exes.  Everyone is different.  So you may have healed a lot and triggered your confidence back up with time, which I did.  I know I will never deal with that shit again, and I got my groove back.  Puts a smile on my face to finally say that, like wow, I have my confidence back!  I  felt it was 6 ft underground for a while, haha.  You just gotta remember to take care of yourself and be the person you should be.  Don't walk around with that damn chip on your shoulder... only scares future possibilities.   

So, after telling your new person this stuff you have experienced in your past, and maybe they experienced something similar in their life, I feel as if they should be a little more understanding.  I mean if you are just crazy and do random shit all the time that shows you cannot be trusted or shows you have major trust issues or little secrets, then clearly you are not ready to be in a relationship.  Your person should want to show you why you should trust them and vice versa.  If you really dig someone, you would do anything for them, right?  Trust and communication are two key things in a relationship afterall.

I can proudly say, for the first time in 2 years, a fucking mile stone walk, that I am ready to be in a relationship again.  In fact, I've never been this ready.  Scares the shit out of me.  All the possibilities of getting hurt, and I am willing to take it... willing to do whatever it takes to make it work... because he is totally worth it and I dig him more than anything.   I am willing to take this risk (yes, there is a certain guy in my mind, and i think he is spectacular, haha). 

But, here's the main thing, I may have gotten that confidence back, but there is this little tiny piece in me that still gets scared that some other chick will come along or he will get bored with me.  I know I'm not perfect.  I know I cannot promise anything nor promise I won't be a dumb chick at times.  But I know I do have a damn big heart and am one amazing person, and want to show this, share it, and care for you.  I know I can make it work with this person.  When stupid shit happens, I just need like a slap in the face, or a hey, what are you doing... like a reminder that I'm just being silly.  I feel at this level with another person they should be understanding, not get mad.  Relationships take time and work. Eventually that whole nonsense will even disappear.  "The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials." -Chinese Proverb

So now I dig this person.  I trust him 100%.  The most I have ever trusted anyone.  I can tell him anything.  I'm not scared to be myself.  This is a good sign.  I'm so unbelievably happy with him.  He's so nice and laid back... just what I need.  He's not a douchebag.  We could go slow and take ages to get to wherever, not rush, and for once I'd be okay with that...  But, I may have ruined this because I got that scared girl in me.  I wasn't trying to find anything.  I believe everything he says.  I just had one of those moments where it was like what if another girl comes along that's cuter.  It's dumb.  I just wish I had an actual night, just him and me, where we can learn these things and new things.  Develop.  I don't want to lose him over something so silly on my part.  I made a mistake.  I hope he is aware.  I hope he is aware I am not trying to catch him doing something.  I just want it to all work out.  I miss him.  I will give him space... I just hope it's not forever. 
It's just my luck I find someone I want to be with after two years of recovering, and I fuck it up.  Ugh.     

can't sleep, bad thoughts will eat me...

so it's 5am, and i am up because i cannot sleep for the life of me right now... rare occasion for me.  now that i think about it, my mom is just now getting up to get ready for work... sick.  i'm listening to an irish station on pandora and laying in my bed... mind racing but wishing a certain someone was next to me.  sigh.  :-/ i miss him and want to hold and kiss him... hoping for a better day tmr... fingers crossed!

ppl, ppl, ppl...

what the hell is wrong with people? hahaha

read this link above.  after reading this to my roommate, i learned that his high school in bayshore, which is a very nice suburb of Milwaukee had a similar event!  theirs was called "stay fly," where the students would take this as a way to dress "ghetto" and be "wiggers."
what is wrong with our educators to think throwing an event or day like this is okay?  this is what makes american's dumber than they already are and only causes more problems.  generations just keep getting worse... i do feel the girl in the article went a little beyond, but hey, she can... she has a right.  

on another note, this has been one hell of a productive day for me.  my car broke down like a month ago, and i am finally getting it fixed.  took it in today and have the money to pay for it!  life can certainly be a bitch in the money department.  i also found a replacement for my apartment, so i can successfully say i am moving out of milwaukee at the end of this month!  i thought i would be here until the end of september, but nope!  i will miss all my activities in milwaukee and my friends, but it's time to go.  i also may have found a job already in madison, maybe even two jobs!  good things are coming!  i also made up with my parents (due to me not being communicative enough), and more and more i realize i have the best damn parents ever.  they are so helpful and understanding.            

Song of the day!

My song of the day choice.  Love these lyrics. 

I hold on to what I believe.  I know I can be wrong at times, but I will hold on.  I believe in you.  I believe in me. I believe in you and me.  I'm going to hold on... no matter how hard. 

ZOMBIE!!!!!!

I love this movie.  Zombieland does greatness.  Bill Murray's cameo is great!  Makes me want to watch What About Bob or Kingpin, especially since Woody Harrison is in that with him AGAIN! 

I just heart movies sooo much!